Apologies and Interesting Doctor...

So I need to apologize for my lack of new posts.  I know how many of you struggle with fertility, and I am worried of monopolizing this blog with baby crap, so I've been limiting myself with what should be written.

It should be noted, though, that I went into the doctor last Wednesday on a pseudo-emergency run, and the doctor saw my supplements and asked about them.  I told him why I took the DCI, and when he saw how far along I was and when my last period was, he commented "well, yah, that's pretty regular.  What's this DCI again and how does it work?"  I immediately fell madly in love with this 70 year old doctor - Wait, I thought to myself, you actually INTERESTED in my alternative medicine?????  So I told him about how DCI binds to IPG, sits on the outside of the cell, and when the insulin drifts by the DCI picks up the insulin and goes back into the cell telling it to shut of insulin production, which turns off testosterone.  I told him current research tends to think that PCOS stems from an inability for our bodies to create DCI, thus it starts the viscous cycle.  I told him Metformin works because it's a chemical that tells the body to make more DCI.  I thought what the hell and just took the DCI to see what it would do.  He was soooo interested, and said he needed to read up on it - if a vitamin can do this to you, it's a miracle!  I though, ummm, I know.  Then he said he wanted to watch me closely because he hadn't seen a PCOS person come into his office that hadn't taken fertility meds to get pregnant, and this was interesting.  I'm telling you, DCI IS A MIRACLE!!!!  So I go in again today for another progesterone blood draw, and I'm bringing him a packet of info I found.  I know this is a bit ballsy, but if it helps even one more women, it's worth it!

Terror

So....now the terror settles in.  All of us PCOS ladies know that we have an increased risk of miscarriage.  I've told my mother about my positive test, who told my grandma and aunt, who told my uncle and 3 cousins...you can see how this is going.   So now I just get to wring my hands and hope it sticks...Not wring my hands in a worry constantly sort of way, but wring my hands in a "just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I'm getting a baby" sort of way.  I guess I won't really know that, though, until it comes out and it's okay...

The Donation...Revisited

Since we are half-way through the month, I thought I'd re-post my donation deal...

I've made a decision...to celebrate the birth of my new blog, I am creating a donation drive.  From now until 10 p.m. on February 28th, for each person I have listed as a follower of my blog I will donate $1 to diabetes research (which funds the insulin resistance research for people with PCOS).  So far, I'm donating $3 as of February 8...and only $6 as of Feb 14 :(.  I would LOVE to get that number higher!!!!  You have until 10 pm on February 28 to sign up as a follower of my blog to get your number counted for the donation!

P.S.  I plan to run this again in September, which is PCOS awareness month.

CD 22: 7dpo

I don't think I can wait any longer with the testing...did I mention I am addicted to peeing on sticks???

CD 21: 6dpo

I really really really hate standardized tests.  The kids are squirrelly,  I am squirrelly, and at three 30 minute tests a day, we all just want to puke.  Top that off with the valentines day party this afternoon, a snow day yesterday, and my impending and pressing test date approaching, and you have the perfect recipe for disaster.  This two week wait is moving soooooo painfully slow...

CD 20: 5dpo

So, according to SMEPing (start doing it cd 8, then ever other day until you get a + OPK, the three days straight, skip a day, one more day) I have to wait until 15 days after my first ovulation test positive to test.  Do you count that first positive as day 1 or day 0?  If it's day 1, then FF's test date would be 15 days...if it's day 0, I should wait until Friday to test.  I'm thinking Friday would be better, since it's mid-winter break and I won't have school.  

Alas, I am NOT a patient person.  Patience is a virtue I have not been blessed with.  Compassion? Yes. Perseverance? Sure.  Hope? Yup.  Patience? Big Fat No.  So saying I will wait until Friday and actually waiting until Friday are two different things.  I think I've actually decided in my mind that my internet cheapies are not real tests, anyway, so they don't count.  Two cycles ago I used internet cheapies and OPKs (cuz they'll turn positive, too, if your pregnant - Amy, if you don't believe me, try peeing on one!  We all know you're NOT ovulating right now!) to get me through, and didn't take my first REAL test until my test date.  Last cycle I used $ store tests and got real-looking evaps at 9, 10, and 11 dpo and got my period at 12 dpo, two days before my test date (FF has since adjusted my test date to be 13 dpo).  Soooo....  either the $ stores don't work for me (which they ALWAYS did before) or there was a bad batch of them at the $ store by work.  Maybe they froze in the truck during delivery or something.  I've never had an evap on an internet test, though.  

Soooo...I will wait to Friday to pee on a real pregnancy test.  If I get the urge to pee on something, I'll pee on an OPK, since that's not a REAL test anyway...Maybe I need to cut strips of computer paper out and start peeing on them...maybe that would satisfy the urge, too!

CD 19: 4dpo

I had a horrible backache this morning...and twinges all day today.  It is way too early for this...I have 9 more days to go.  Ughghghgh.  Why is the two week wait two weeks long?  I can understand the whole having to wait until it implants and all, but the extra four days until it has produced enough hcG to be detectable at 10 miU?  Well, that's crap.  There should be a neon sign that flashes in the morning: "Congrats! You've implanted successfully!"  I would buy that sign!  This whole let's wait for kingdom come, Moses, and any other religious person or effect that signifies the end of eternity?  I'll pass...I'd like to find out sooner than that. 

So wait until Thursday, the 18th.  Although, technically, Monday is 10dpo.  I have 25 internet cheapies ($0.20 tests from ebay), 1 dollar store, 3 answer, and 2 clearblue digital pregnancy tests in my house.  I think I could stand to start testing on Monday.  If I use a cheapie Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, an Answer on Thursday (if I get this far and TEDDY TAMPON isn't needed), and a digital on Friday (which would be 14 dpo and would certainly register on a digi - don't you think?), then I would still have enough tests left over for a repeat of the above plan for next cycle, too.  What do you think?  Should I start testing Monday?  Negatives don't bother me so much...or is it too much test anxiety?

CD 18: 3dpo

Can you believe I'm even able to post a title like that??? 3dpo on CD 18 - W.T.F? 

So, I go to a superbowl party last night, and I learn that my husbands best friend's new girlfriend (well, new as in a few months anyway) has PCOS, and she's just as nutty as I am about finding stuff that works!  We sort of clicked, and next thing you know we were talking about his supplement and that symptom and this feeling and that time frame, and my husband and his friend are just looking at each other like we were crazy.  Which we are.  I love all you guys, but it's kinda nice knowing I have a IRL person to talk to about it all, too.  She's (quite obviously) not to the baby-trying phase yet, but I'd have to say she's got a leg up on me anyway cuz she's been reading about all this for much longer.  I just took BCP for 16 years and stuck my head in the sand about it all.

So, now the analyzing of signs starts.  Mild cramps today, tired on Saturday, I have the urge to eat coffee cake - am I pregnant?  If it's not questioning and waiting for one thing it's another...I'll never be free...once you're knocked up, you're waiting for the second trimester so you can tell everyone...then you're waiting to find out what it is...then you're waiting to deliver...then you're waiting until he's 18 months so....then you can wait until you ovulation....to wait and see if your pregnant....wait for the second trimester....I see this not ending soon for me.......

CD 17

Shit. I had this whole post ready to go about making Superbowl Sunday a national holiday because I can't stop packing my face on junk food, and I lost it. Apparently when you hit 'end' on your cell phone, it doesn't ask you if you're sure like a real computer would, it just ends. Like, as soon as you hit the button. And it doesn't save anything. So all my witty jokes about cheesy poofs and potato chips are gone forever, lost in the abiss of undeliverable mail. Damn cell phone.

I've won one square already. That means in 2 hours, I've created a 400% profit for myself. Nice.

I am petitioning the name change of Superbowl Sunday to National Pack Your Face Until You Puke And Make Room For More Day. It's what we all do anyway..No? Well, I guess I never was normal...

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Sent from my Verizon Wireless mobile phone

CD 16 and WOW

My temps are up this morning.  I have NEVER NEVER NEVER ovulated on a normal day before.   I am soooo jumping for joy right now that all I can do is sit on my couch and stare at the wall in disbelief.

I probably should add that while I've been taking the DCI I've cut out caffeine.  I drink decaf coffee now, and only have a pop once in a while (like, once a week or so).  I read somewhere that caffeine can negate the effects or inhibit inositol from working, and you're supposed to take it in the morning about a 1/2 hour before breakfast.  It sort of seemed counterproductive, so I switched to decaf.

I've been sleeping GREAT lately, my hair is not falling out in such great quantities, and I find I'm not as hungry all the time as I used to be.  When I AM hungry, it's usually just hungry now (instead of low sugar), although I have had the shaky low sugar feeling twice since starting it.  But my fasting sugar at that point was 75 and 80 (it's supposed to be around 100), so I'm not sure why I had that feeling in the first place, since hypoglycemia usually needs to have sugar levels much lower than that (like in the 40-50s).  So perhaps it's making my body more receptive to changes in my blood glucose levels.

So I need to wait for about 2-3 more days of higher temps before I can officially begin my celebration, but I am cautiously optimistic at this point.  Amy - we've been SMEPing, so maybe I'll be 11 weeks behind you?  Keep your fingers crossed!

CD 15

The doctor saga....the promised story...

So a few days ago (CD 13) I wrote about my sadness...I was having a rough day.  The kids at school were awful, and I had to stay an extra 2 hours at work just to get all caught up from the madness that ensued in my classroom that day.  I came home, and spent quite a large amount of time Googling new medical PCOS research... looking for research cases in my area... grasping for straws.  

From here on, CAUTION, serious TMI warning...

Around 8:30, I go to take a shower, use the restroom, and there's blood.  Not the spotting I've been having since CD 11...blood...as in, bright red, period style.  My first thought? WTF.  So I hop in the shower to think things over, and decide to call my mom.  She's an RN, and while originally didn't approve of my self-medicating techniques to treat PCOS, she's come quite a way, and is beginning to realize I'm not talking out of my ass.  She says, call the on call doctor.  She's thinking since my last cycle was sooooo long, that perhaps I really am pregnant, and since I'm not getting any positive pregnancy tests, perhaps it's something to call the doctor about since it's possible it could be an ectopic pregnancy.

Fast forward 5 minutes, and now I'm freaking out...So I call the answering service for the doctor, and after waiting on hold for 7 minutes (no joke - hope it's not a real emergency), the lady says the doctor will call back.  She calls back after a short wait, and the madness ensues.  Here is a rough transcription of the call:

Doctor: This is doctor _______

Me: Thank you for calling me back.

(silence)

Me: So I'm calling because I'm not sure if I need to be seen right away or not.  

(silence) My mom, she's an RN, thought I should -

Doctor: How old are you?

Me: Me? I'm 30

Doctor: Okay, continue...

Me: Okay...Well, I've been treated for PCOS since I was 14 and went of birth control last June.  I've had erratic cycle lengths since.  My last cycle was 72 days, which ended on January 21.  I'm now on day 13, and am experiencing bright red bleeding.  The only thing that has changes is I've been taking a vitamin for blood sugar that ---

Doctor: Yes, Metformin

Me: Umm, no, it's a vitimin that helps level out the sugar levels.

Doctor: So let me get this straight.  You've always had irregular cycles, your last cycle was 72 days, and you're bleeding today, which is day 13?

Me: That's correct.  I just wondered if there was a reason to be concerned by this. It is highly---

Doctor: Are you hemmoraging?  Bleeding down the leg?  Dripping on the floor?

Me: Ummm, no.

Doctor: So you've always had irregular cycles and your paging me because you are having an irregular cycle and are concerned?

Me: Well, I know my body fairly well, I use a ferning test and an ovulation kit as well as charting to confirm ovulation, so I know up until last cycle everything was okay.  This bleeding today is not okay.

Doctor:  Mam, I am a conservative doctor.  I believe you are going about getting pregnant all the wrong ways.  Who is even giving you these ferning tests?  How are they being administered?

Me: Um, by me?

Doctor: And how are you perfoming these ovulation kits?

Me: Look, you lick a slide and look for ferning under a microscope, and you pee on a stick.  I don't understand what you are saying.  These are both available at your local CVS.

Doctor: It is my opinion that you are going about this the wrong way. Unless you are bleeding down your leg and onto the floor, this does not constitute an emergency.  You are having an irregular cycle.  My suggestion is to start paying attention to the days you bleed and the days you spot, write it down, and in 4 months if you are still irregular, you may want to come in and have your thyroid checked and have some bloodwork done. 

Me: I've had PCOS since I was 14.

Doctor: This does not change my suggestion.

Me: Okay, ummm, thank you?  (And I hang up on her)

So after wanting to throw the phone at the wall, and then sobbing because I feel I now know more than the medical community, and in the off chance I actually DO have an emergency, I am basically screwed.

So I am upset both at the rudeness of the doctor and the insinuation that I was both crazy at my efforts and stupid that she needed to talk down to me.  I was not taken seriously, and this upsets me.  I want her fired.

Fast forward 24 hours...

I got the chance to talk to my REAL doctor who called me from the office, and after describing the situation, said this is WONDERFUL news.  She actually said that...  She said my body is gearing up to ovulate, and the real spike I experienced from estrogen is nothing like my body has ever experienced.  She believes the bleeding (which stopped as suddenly as it started Wednesday morning) was estrogen withdraw bleeding as my spike ended and the LH took over.  She thinks this means my body might be normalizing.  I was a bit in disbelief until I went home and got a + ovulation predictor test.  The only other time I've gotten a TRUE positive was when an ovulation actually happened last cycle (not gearing up to ovulate and then fail).  I've had ovulation pains for the last 24 hours.  The only thing that makes me wonder is I've only had partial ferning for the last few days.  Who knows?

So.... what do you think about ALL THAT?????

The Donation...

I've made a decision...to celebrate the birth of my new blog, I am creating a donation drive.  From now until 10 p.m. on February 28th, for each person I have listed as a follower of my blog I will donate $1 to diabetes research (which funds the insulin resistance research for people with PCOS).  So far, I'm donating $3 as of February 8.  I would LOVE to get that number higher!!!!  You have until 10 pm on February 28 to sign up as a follower of my blog to get your number counted for the donation!

P.S.  I plan to run this again in September, which is PCOS awareness month. 

CD 13

Today I am sad.  Not bummed out, not pissed cuz I had a bad day, not tired, just irrationally sad.  I kind of feel like I want to cry at odd times.  Today I sort of feel like I did when I had my BCP patch that made me go hormonal and suicidal...no, you don't have to worry, I'm not suicidal...lol...but it's just that weird 'pit in your stomach', almost like a grief kinda of sad.  I guess it would be the feeling I associate with my middle school years (when I actually [i]was[/i] suicidal) showing up for a 6-hour visit.  I was fine at work with the kids.  I was even fine at work until 6 working at my desk.  Then I got in the car, and it was right there in my face.

My coworker, the one that's pregnant, who also happens to be the one that had been being a bitch to me earlier this year but has made a 180 turn and didn't realize I was having issues while watching her get bigger and bigger and now feels really bad, asked me today how my ovulating was going.  Odd lunch conversation, but I thought it was really nice of her to ask.  I told her since my last cycle was 72 days, I hadn't the faintest idea.  This was over chocolate cake. 

Perhaps I should go eat some chocolate...that might cheer me up.  I know it is definitely NOT on the IR diet...but I think dark chocolate doesn't count.  At least, according to the PCOS Workbook, it doesn't, so I'll go by that.

Please be nice to me...it's day 13, and no sign of ovulation in site.  At least last cycle I had all the markings that I might be gearing up to ovulate...none yet.  I want my DCI to make me ovulate EVERY CYCLE on day 14.  I think I'm asking too much.

CD 12

Sooooo.... did you know you can get ferning if you go to a comedy club, laugh your ass off, and have two rum and cokes?  Yup, apparently, you can get ferning if you've smoked, drank alcohol, or have had low blood sugar within the last 12 hours.  I find this funny.  Funny in a ha-ha-I-actually-thought-I-was-normal-when-all-the-ferning-was-trying-to-tell-me-was-that-I-might-be-a-lush kind of way.  Funny in an I-could-bash-my-head-against-the-wall-until-it-bleeds-and-then-heals-and-gets-infected-with-puss sort of ha ha funny.  That low blood sugar thing?  Yahhh...that's REALLY REALLY funny, considering with insulin resistance you could possibly get low blood sugar three times in one day if you tried really hard.  DAMMIT I hate PCOS.  

I've had no fertile fluid.  I know, I know, major TMI...  But I DID have this tiny tiny area on the scope today that had a piece of ferning in it.  I'm talking like, the size of a 18-point capital G on the ferning microscope size (I'm a techie geek, okay?  I relate in point sizes, the length of the hypotenuse between my house and Wal-mart and how fast that means I can get there, and what the value of x is throughout my life...thus, the title of the blog...leave me and my 18-point text fonts alone!)

To top all that off, I just ran like mad from a conference I'm supposed to be in attendance at until 4:00 (keep in mind it's 2, and I'm already home, and it's a 40 minute car ride) because a coworker showed up who felt like telling me that I wasn't being enough of a student advocate for a child in my classroom when she's the oaf who won't get off her dead ass to help any of my children.  Before I said something particularly heinous (thinking in my head of a Proverb I read two nights ago where loose lips lead to sin and it's better sometimes to just shut up - that's a loose paraphrase from an NLT version, but yes, it actually said shut up!), I picked up my belongings and left the building immediately.   I'd really really like a beer, but that would lead to ferning...and now we have just come 'round circle with my life and my current litany of issues.


BTW, just in case anybody cares, which I don't think you will, but my neighbor is talking REALLY loud, and I can hear her entire conversation...I think I heard something about doughnuts and bacon...I had a doughnut this morning with nuts on it...do you think the sugar from the doughnut will delay my ovulation, or will the protein and amino acids from the nuts bring it sooner?

CD 9

I have ferning...I HAVE FERNING!!!  This is insane.  I am on day 9.  That would mean my body is gearing up to ovulate sometime between CD 13 and 16.  That would make me....gasp.....normal?  No way.  That's not possible.  I am a lot of things....crazy, impulsive, bitchy, focused, but I am NOT normal.  If I'm normal, that's gonna get rid of a LOT of excuses that I use every day......huh......I'm gonna have to rethink this...  I wonder if there's a Google site for normal people.  How do you act when your normal?  Do you still have to cook dinner if your normal?  Do normal people have to work?  Do I get a tax discount if I'm normal?  MAYBE I GET A TAX REFUND IF I'M NORMAL!  This opens up a whole new world!

EDIT: Just read this post to my husband...he assures me I'm not as normal as I think I am.

CD 6

Holy bananas! I've had 230 views...that's a lot of people caring about what I have to say.  Either that, or Amy - you are stalking me!  Ha!

So today I wonder if being cold affects fertility...I am freezing, the temp outside is 9 degrees (yah, that was the HIGH), and despite my furnace working, it is freezing in my house.  I've taken a hot shower, I've put on layers, I've eaten hot food (okay, okay, drank a cold beer), but I am not warming up.  Which is when the thought popped up - would being overly cold trigger your body as stress, and create an environment which delays ovulation?  Why does everything have to now be about ovulation and tests...I swear!  I had dark chocolate today?  Will the omega 3 make me ovulate sooner?  I forgot my baby aspirin today - will I ovulate later now?  I had sprite at Burger King - will the sugar cause a blood sugar spike and delay ovulation?  Sprite doesn't have caffeine - will having sprite versus coke help the Chiro work better and bring ovulation on earlier?  Will being certifiably crazy mean that my body no longer recognizes my thoughts as stress - just normal - and cause me to ovulate sooner?

REALLY?  Why is my head so stupid?  Will having a stupid head make me ovulate sooner or later?

BTW, I had to stop the vitamin D.  It was making me sooooooooo exhausted that I just couldn't be a good teacher, drive, or figure out simple things like where I kept the milk at in my house.  I know PCOS women are deficient in D...I'll just have to be deficient a little longer, cuz the supplement isn't working.   I also added baby aspirin to the mix...having only 2 day periods, of which a pantyliner works or a light tampon, I assume (which is not always a good thing, I know) that my uterine lining is too thin.  The aspirin is supposed to beef up lining while stimulating ovaries at the same time to ovulate.  Hmmm...so that means now I'm taking - drum roll please.....

350mg Vitex/day
1 prenatal w/ DHA/day
1000mg omega 3/day
81mg aspirin/day
600mg d-chiro-inositol/day
and a partridge in a pear tree.

Pear tree - if i take that - will that make me ovulate???  What about partridge????  My husband hunts...

CD 4

To take my mind off TTC, I am enjoying the bacholor with the husband. He claims he's here by protest, but he only gets up during commercials so he doesn't miss anything. He also yells out random comments in falseto... Think "oh spank me baby" and "this date is the best ev-er." Sometimes I think he might enjoy it more than I do. He even has me yelling out obscenities at the tv now, too. As long as the bachelor an idol are on, ttc is a bit easier...

CD 3

So a friend from college found me on facebook.   We talked to them last 5 years ago right after they got married.  She informed me they now have three kids, did we have any yet.  Nice.  Thank you.  So happy your fertile like a damn rabbit.  No, I don't have any kids. I have a dog - does that count?

On that note, I'm gonna go eat the eggs and corned beef hash that my hubby has made me for breakfast.  I'm gonna go to church.  I'm gonna come home and take down my Christmas tree.  I'm gonna wait some more.

CD 1: And Another Thing...

So now that the initial sadness about not being pregnant has passed (especially when I was oh so hopeful with that line I got on Tuesday...), I find myself extatic that I finally got my period.  I feel like calling everyone I know and screaming into the phone "I HAVE GREAT NEWS TO SHARE WITH YOU - I'M BLEEDING!"

Do you think they would have me committed?  I mean, I know they would assume I was crazy.  My husband did...He called last night on his way home from work...I answered "i'm bleeding." It was silent on the other end of the phone...then I hear "are you at a hospital?  From the head?  WHERE ARE YOU BLEEDING FROM?"  I'm thinking if I just called random people in my phone book and told them my news, I wonder what their responses would be.

So I have found Mr. Tampon...he is my friend today....

CD 1

Well, there are several good things about getting my period this morning:

• I can have a beer at my ladies night tonight!
• I have reset my time-clock for going to the reproductive endocrinologist.
• I can start making fresh eggs.
• I won't have to wonder what's cooking in there because it was an old egg.
• My d-chiro-inositol experiment can officially begin - will it change anything?
• My boobs will stop hurting when I walk
• and the number 1? I FINALLY OVULATED AND MY SUPER LONG CYCLE IS OVER!!!!!!

 Off to a day of working on homework for my Master's classes...taking the dog to get nails cut, and making pigs in a blanket for my evening "enrichment."


Lessons learned this cycle:

• When it says "don't read a negative test after 10 minutes," they mean it.  Imaginary lines start to become visible and you run around for 3 days thinking your pregnant.
• When you have the flu and don't feel like doing "it," do it anyway.  With the way your luck works, your ovulating.
• ALWAYS have cheap internet pregnancy tests on hand...dollar tree tests are still too expensive to take 3 a day!!!

TTC Cycle 3 in it's completion...

CD71: 11dpo

My temp dipped this morning...greatly...like it always does before my period. I told DH we'd get to sleep for at least one more month...he asked me if I was really pregnant...why are men so clueless?

I'm going to order more DCI and up myself to the 1200mg this saturday. I'll probably get the shakes...

Here's to another cycle.

CD 70: 10dpo

SOOOO...I got all excited yesterday because I had a line on a test...you know, a SECOND line...alas, I think it was one of those mystical evaporation lines...I took two this morning, and there was nothing there...

I tested 5 days early - who can wait until the day of their missed period anyway? What's the worst that can happen - you find out EARLIER? Some people say it would hurt if you found out you were pregnant and then you lost it just a couple days later...ummm...yes. That would hurt. But I suppose I'd rather know that I lost one of my children than never knew it even existed. I feel like when I died and got where I was going, you meet everyone again, and this angel would come up to you and you'd be like, what? who are you? That just doesn't seem right...So, test early - I believe in this.

Technically, 10 dpo is the earliest you can test, and only 10% of women get a positive on this day. I guess time will tell...

CD 69: 9dpo

My temp fell this morning. When I overlay my last two cycles with this cycle, my temps have fallen on 9dpo each time...bummer. That makes me think I'm out this cycle.

I am considering this cycle #1 of effective baby-trying. This is the first cycle where we had WONDERFUL timing, and I just can't expect babies in one cycle. It takes time. Perhaps if I have two more cycles that work out as great as this one did, I might consider going to the endocrinologist for some meds. Maybe they can see if my tubes are blocked. Maybe they can see if Husband has working man-juice. Maybe I'll still get a turkey this cycle. Hmmm...let's hope. Hope doesn't fail.

CD 68: 8dpo

OMG i have cramps...I HAVE CRAMPS...this is good news...this is great news...implant, little one, implant...implant all day long if you have to...I AM OBSESSING AGAIN...WALK AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER...PUT IT DOWN AND JUST STEP AWAY...where's the chocolate...OMG I NEED chocolate...

CD67: 7dpo

The tallying of signs has begun...it doesn't matter how many times I tell myself I'm not going to do that. I ignore the pinches, I ignore the pulls, and then I see a message post about how implantation cramps are often confused with constipation cramps, my mind instantly goes to Friday morning with me doubled over at the kitchen table clutching my stomach, and I'm instantly hooked. My boobs are sore, I'm fatigued, and I'm irritable. And not a "oh, I'm PMS-ing and could use chocolate because I'm stressing" irritable, but a "move the HELL out of my way or I WILL run you over" while gunning the ignition irritable. A "keep your mouth shut or I WILL sew it shut for you" while getting out the needle and threading it myself irritable.

Just thought I'd keep you updated...

BTW, I started the 600mg of DCI yesterday, felt absolutely fine today.

CD 66: 6dpo

Holy Shit.....So I ovulated on my 30th birthday with a O-1, O, O+1 pattern....I'm still in a disbelief...

So now starts the frantic comparing of other pregnancy charts that have the same pattern as me...The overlaying of charts, the comparing of my temps, the obsessive listing of every pinch, pull, and cramp that might exist and listing it as a hopeful pregnancy sign.

Test day is January 24. It's a Sunday. It also happens to be next Sunday. I have no work on Monday or on Friday. Joe is working. I'm gonna need someone to take my mind off of my test day. My co-worker finds out what she's having on Friday. Maybe I'll call her to find out what it is and hit the mall on Saturday or something to find a cheap something in pink or blue for her. Hmmm...That might keep me busy.

I upped myself to 600mg of DCI in case this cycle happens to flop (which I have a 60% chance of this happening). So far I'm not feeling shaky or hypoglycemic, so maybe the 1200 mg will work for me!

On a completely unrelated note, I am now addicted to Uno on my iPod...

CD 62: 2dpo

I got a great book today...The PCOS Workbook. I've only read p. 17-24, but what great information! I highly recommend this read.

Today at lunch, one of my co-workers (Janice) asked me how I was doing when she had me alone on the side. I almost started crying in the bathroom stall. I guess I feel everyone was super stoked and supportive for me until Phillis got pregnant (on the same cycle I SWORE I was and we would have had due dates within 5 days of each other), and then everyone just sort of forgot I was having difficulties and now it's all about her baby. I haven't had a period since before hunting season started, and no one know because no one cared enough to even ask how I was. I called Janice at home to thank her for saying something. Her and I were always friends outside of work more than at work ever since we'd gotten hired, so it was nice to know she was still thinking of me, and not just thinking of me on a whim but thinking enough to plan when she could ask me when I wasn't in front of other people.

On that note, I did have pains on my left side today. Briefly at about 4:00. Which would put my bedtime at O+6. Isn't that prime girl-conceiving time? Hmmm....

CD 61: 1dpo

Come on ovulation......I got a negative OPK today...Fertility Friend says I should ovulate somewhere between yesterday and tomorrow, which means I should see my temp rise by Thursday? I feel like I'm at Vegas playing blackjack, ready to hit when I should be staying...how will the luck pan out???

CD 59 - I AM IN DISBELIEF!

So I started DCI exactly 4 days ago. I thought I had totally screwed myself out of an ovulation this never ending cycle - CD 57, had a cold, had the flu, on antibiotics, stressed out from holidays, yada yada yada. I started DCI 4 days ago, and I've got full ferning AND the DARKEST OPK I'VE EVER HAD EVER!!!!

So, the logical part of me says, hey, DCI cannot work that fast. But then I find this study that says 600 mg reduces blood sugar by 22% within 120 minutes of ingestion (which can be found here), and I have to wonder, since I was on Vitex, perhaps the little extra shove was all my hormones (who may have been gearing up to try ovulating again anyway) needed to make the ovulation actually happen this time....hmmm...back to google I go! BTW, here are some sites that I found helpful when I was researching DCI:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10824707

http://pcos.insulitelabs.com/blog/149/pinitol-d-chiro-inositol-inositol/

http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/full/340/17/1314

http://www.soulcysters.net/dci-d-chiro-inositol-wow-280933/

http://www.chiralbalance.com/faq/category/Is_DCI_safe_and_natural.htm

http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-supplements/ingredientmono-299-D-chiro-inositol%2c+synonym+-chiroinositol+INOSITOL.aspx?activeIngredientId=299&activeIngredientName=D-chiro-inositol%2c+synonym+(%2b)-chiroinositol+(INOSITOL)&source=2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I82OtKb4jtA

http://www.faqs.org/abstracts/Health/Ovulatory-and-metabolic-effects-of-D-chiro-inositol-in-the-polycystic-ovary-syndrome.html

http://pcoscommunity.com/showthread.php?t=14293

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15251831?ordinalpos=8&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_RVDocSum

CD 58

Ughgh...when will this flu be over???

On the positive note, guess who got ferning today? Yup, that's right...I got ferning today!!!!! So excited, I had to call my mother. Her response? "What the hell is ferning?" Oh well. So, getting over the flu, need to do the deed, getting over the flu, need to do the deed. Somehow I'm gonna have to make this work!

So now I have to wonder....did the DCI have anything to do with this? I've only taken it for 3 days, so I think no. But I read a study that DCI begins to work in your body only 120 minutes after you ingest the pill. I guess time will tell!

CD 57

So today is day 2 on d-chiro-inositol (DCI). I'm not sure what I expected. Actually, I expected to feel awful. I thought, like Metformin, I'd be sick to my stomach, or stuck in the bathroom, or, I don't know, shaky or something. But I feel, well, nothing. I feel like I'm getting over the flu, which is appropriate, because I'm getting over the flu. Other than that, I'm cautiously optimistic.

I emailed the VP of a company that manufactures DCI, and he said I should take it first thing in the morning with my breakfast. He also recommended I start with the highest dose (1200 mg) and work my way backwards. I think that seems a bit like shocking your body, so I'm sticking to my instincts - starting for a week at 300 mg, then next week hitting 600 mg, which is my recommended dosage. The VP also suggested I look into Vitamin D research. Supposedly PCOS is linked with a Vitamin D deficiency, and suggested I go on a D3 supplement.

At this point, is seems as if every time I do more research, there are more twists and turns that point to this and that as the root cause of PCOS. I figure if I try it all, maybe I'll hit pay dirt with one of them?

CD 53

So, I'm super stoked. First, I joined a group on Fertility Friend that is trying to lower body fat by using the wii fit. This might be JUST what I've been looking for! You have to upload weekly photos and post your progress. Woo hoo!

Second, I have found the ultimate facebook profile picture for me. For anyone who doesn't know, my well-respected nickname is Marge, to the point where some people don't even know my real name! This comes from Marjory Stewart Baxter off of Salad Fingers. Why? Because I taste like sunshine dust, silly!

CD52

It's not here yet. I don't really think 2-day shipping covers New Year's Day, though. What about New Year's Eve if it was ordered by noon? Maybe....Maybe. So I should see it at my house by Monday or Tuesday. Which reminds me, I should check my mail....I have trouble remembering that one...checking mail...who does that regularly? My mailbox is locked, so it's not like I have to worry about mail theft or anything....hm......

When I think about starting the DCI, I get butterflies in my stomach. Is this normal? BTW, my efforts to lose 10% of body fat to lower my % body fat (currently 25.4% - yikes! healthy is around 19-20%), thereby lowering insulin levels, is on it's way. I need to get to AT LEAST 130, and today I weighed in at 137.8! Yeah! That means I lost 1.2 pounds this week - Woo hoo! Now, to build up muscle...ha ha...THAT'S the tricky part. BUT if I start my DCI, I'm supposed to see a surge in energy since blood sugar will be working normal (I guess I've pretty much been living in a state of lethargic sugar rushes my whole life but didn't know it since I don't know what it feels like to have normal sugar?), so maybe I'll work out then???? ;)