CD50 15dpo?

I am now supposedly 15dpo, but I think ovulation has escaped me this cycle. Perhaps high temps were because I was sick? PCOS sucks.

I told God last night that I was missing something. I know he's showing me new research for a reason, but I just felt as if I had missed some research somewhere. I asked him, if he did indeed want me to follow what he was showing me, to show me what I had missed. Otherwise, I would stop my obsessing and research and just let him take over. After all, he comes quite qualified! Lo and behold, today while playing on my new i pod touch, I'm looking at some message boards and "DCI" comes up as something someone with PCOS is taking. It piques my curiosity, so I ask what it is, and no one writes back. I Google it, and it turns out it is THE naturally occurring insulin synthesizer in your body that women with PCOS are unable to make, and this leads to ALL our issues. (well, the research was much more involved than this, but don't think you all want to know the intricate details) How do you fix it? You take a supplement that costs $15. 83% of women with PCOS experience relief from symptoms and are ovulating after 8 weeks when using this supplement. Coincidence that I found this information today? I think not.

I ordered it. 2-day mail. I'm nervous, but Oh so optimistic. God loves me, and he wants me healthy. Sure, he could make me healthy right now if he wanted to, but where's the fun in that? This, THIS, is building our relationship. It's kind of like that dad that makes a model car with his kid. Sure, he could do it a heck of a lot faster (and better) if he did it on his own. But he'd miss out on the time they would spend together. THIS allows me to spend time with My Father, build a relationship with My Father, and trust that My Father is trying to teach me something.

CD40 5dpo

I couldn't sleep last night. I'm sure it was the tea I had before bed. So I slept on the couch, under freezing blankets, and of course, temp drop this morning. Did it drop because I'm feeling better and I didn't really ovulate because my temps were just reporting my illness? Did I ovulate and my temp is reflecting my freezing ass on this couch? I wish there were no questions, and that this was all very much straight forward. Alas, onto Day 1 of Western Medicinal Techniques!

CD38 4dpo

Okay, so charting software updated the ovulation date, and now I ovulated day 35 (as opposed to day 21). I still feel crappy...chest hurts today, too. But I am happy. I definitely see the temp shift, so I don't feel as lost as I did two weeks ago when I got the CD 21 O date. At least this one makes sense!

CD38 17dpo

And I feel like crap. Yup, full-blown cold today and I'm a snotty, sniveling, sneezing nightmare. Eyes are watering, and I want to carve my face off. Husband wants to know if I'm "actually going to write on there every day?" with a note of disgust and unbelief in his voice. No, hun, I'm just venting. I need to know I'm not alone out there.

I began a new book last night - that one I bought at Borders: "The Infertility Cure." So far, I'm amazed, and I feel like I can relate TOTALLY to the author. I also used my scope this morning - no ferning. I'm thinking perhaps I may have had some coffee before I tested yesterday. Who knows...Although temps are up again...maybe because I am sick? *tiny voice heard saying "yah, sick in the head* I laugh to myself, and hit publish.

CD37 16 dpo

Just caved and opened up the fertility microscope. Who even knew this stuff existed? I am STARVING, so I eat pop-tarts, drink strong coffee (which I KNOW is not on the fertility diet), and try to discover how to read a ferning scope. I've only had positives on Answer OPKS, so perhaps the Answer brand are super sensitive? I'd like an alternative method to some pee sticks I can't read. I've also purchased three books from Borders: The Fertility Cure; The Fertility Diet; and The Ultimate Keepsake Fertility Journal. I plan to drink coffee and liquor today - I'll begin my fertility overhaul tomorrow. Okay - here goes!

*opens package, licks slide, and waits 10 minutes like the instructions are telling her to*

Oh, wow! I see it! It looks like little snowflakes! I am thinking this is WAY more involved in my body than I ever wanted to be...but the mathematician/scientist in me thinks this is the COOLEST thing ever and I just DON'T want to miss a thing! DAMMIT I should have been a doctor...

CD37 16dpo

I'm sick. I don't mean the "sick-in-the-head" variety. I mean the woke up feeling shitty 7 days before Christmas. Which, of course, begs the question - are my temps up because I am sick, or are my temps up because my temps are up (and there is always the "are my temps up because I was totally under the covers"). I hate temping...